The Walls Of The Universe

The Strange Christmas

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:05:13 GMT

This has been and will be a very peculiar Christmas. We will not see my family, who came around 10 days ago as my mother then went into hospital to get her new knee (and it's not practical to travel over there for the season), and we won't see Dave's mother either who is unable to get out to see us due to the snow. Likewise, it's not possible for us to get out before Christmas due to the weather. Our street is well gritted but it's getting across the very steep and very icy footpaths that keeps us in, as it's not really clever or fair to try and take an unstable pushchair out in that.

So, normally the pre-Christmas days are filled with busy activity, shopping, seeing people, and there's a total absence of that. And I feel quite lost. I ought to feel grateful that I have no need to go out and risk my limbs on the ice unlike others, and that I'm saving money I'd spend on tat, but I honestly feel quite lost, as though it's not really Christmas. The whole rushing about in crowds has always been a part of it for me, and I've not done that since Saturday. I have plenty I ought to be getting on with at home but somehow can't as I feel so restless.

I was very organised this year too, had my grocery deliveries booked in weeks ahead, and bought all the gifts before the end of November, booked two weeks off work, so maybe it's that I've left myself with nothing to actually do apart from chat on the phone to my family!

Joy to the Action Figures!

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:17:42 GMT

Work is finally over for the festivities, so now for over two weeks of playing with toys and trying to stop Alfie from fiddling with things he ought not to fiddle with, like the television, which he has just fiddled with. And reading the same stories he likes on a loop. Because if you don't read them he shoves the book in your face anyway. It's better than what awaits when I get back at least, as I failed in my attempt to convince my manager that the Minister shouldn't go to an event, knowing it would mean I'd have to write a speech. I've not done one in years so being rusty doesn't even come close to describing my current skills on that one. However, the other day after I'd been complaining that I must be crap because my drafts on things get re-written so much, he showed me his latest work which had been re-drafted four times by other people. Basically to say, it's a fact it gets redrafted so get over it! Heh.

Now I have four new action figures to open, so I'm waiting for nap time to come around, and then I can play with the Sycorax Leader without him being chewed or something equally horrific! Though I was quite amused the other day when Alfie was looking at the action figure cabinet and pointing at Chris Ecclestone and going "Daddy!" and at Rose Tyler and saying "Mummy!" He does need to see an optician I think...

Master Hamlet

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:16:34 GMT

The Master, Sam Tyler, John Simm is to play Hamlet at the Crucible in September! Oh god, I want to go and see this! I just know that tickets will sell out in about five seconds though - that's what happens when anything good is on here.

What's with the Doctor Who connection though? Tennant of course played Hamlet, but so did Chris Eccleston.

And Ian McKellen is doing a one man show there on Monday, and I've only just discovered this fact so there will be no tickets. Not that I could go anyway, as I don't think they would appreciate a toddler of terror in there and I wouldn't fancy going to the theatre without Dave, as that wouldn't be fair. I may have to settle for hoping against hope that I spot some famous sports stars around tomorrow, maybe even Jensen Button.

Paradox

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 23:07:06 GMT

I don't think it's just me after reading some stuff online, but Paradox isn't really the best show the BBC have ever made. I've stuck it out for three episodes and there are only two more so I may as well watch them to find out what happens, but not for much more. It's a very good idea, but gone somehow wrong in the execution.

Firstly the acting is quite wooden - Tamzin Outhwaite and the Scottish guy just seem to grimace a lot and that's about it. Then there's the complete inability I have to suspend disbelief that a group of police officers would even be allowed anywhere near such an outlandish caseload, though I'm hoping I'm missing something here. And the scientist himself is extremely irritating as a character.

I admit, it only hooks you in by the promise of working out the final 'whodunnit' at the end, but besides that, it's 50 minutes of "Eh?" followed by 10 minutes of action.

Radio Times Nostalgia

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:29:34 GMT

The Christmas Radio Times is out tomorrow! Hurrah! But for now, here are some old covers you may or may not remember. 2005 is good:

http://www.radiotimes.com/content/features/galleries/christmas-covers/01/

And it was only in 1991 that they were allowed to include ITV and other channels - I remember the days when you had to buy not only Radio Times but also TV Times and a Satellite magazine if you had Sky!

Christmas Cheer

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:48:33 GMT

The joys of the office Christmas lunch:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2009/dec/07/modern-manners-office-christmas-lunch

I'm not going on ours for the second year in a row, which I'm not too happy about. They've booked it in Hathersage again and that's too far to get back in time to do the nursery pick-up. What's even worse is that they have pheasant on the set menu. I spent much of the afternoon of the lunch last December shouting at buses because I couldn't get on any of them. It was truly joyful.

However, I think the best Christmas lunch I ever had wasn't even a lunch. My Manc team leader at the time wasn't the sort of bloke who was big on 'fancy meals' so he just took us all to a local and bought us all a beer and our choice of crisps. Then we sat in the snug and got hammered. This was team of ten blokes and me so I was quite used to the sort of banter by that time. There was a woman in there who had seen better days and had no teeth (not me!) and she took a shine to one of the blokes and tried to take him home with offers of a turkey dinner (I shudder to think...). Then it got to 3pm and the landlord kicked us out because it was closing time.

That's the way to do it I think.

Infernal Communications

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:27:51 GMT

OK so I haven't posted for ages, but it's time to remedy that. It's my blog and I'll use it as I see fit! Hehe. There's a point to that outburst of course.

Internet forums are an utter waste of time, and social networking is the better option for any decent minded person. Now I must exclude some of the more moderated specialist forums like The Barrow-Downs, Digital Spy etc, but general forums, especially the large, unwieldy ones, are just dire, and if they're in any way representative of humanity then bring on the end of the world!

Charlie Brooker had it nailed a few years back. Read it and weep:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2006/jun/02/comment.charliebrooker

The problem with forums is that here we have lots of people with plenty to say, but does anyone actually care what an IT consultant from Scunthorpe thinks about 'scroungers'? No. So the whole thing usually descends into a pathetic playground brawl as they try to outdo one another and generally be bitchy idiots. And you can't turn the things off, either. Once you get into one, as sure as eggs are eggs, someone will decide to pursue you and pick on everything you say for ever more. Until the day you finally come out blinking into the light and realise that on an internet forum, nobody actually likes anybody else, and there's really no reason for you to trouble yourself with this modern day cockfighting any more.

Social networking and blogs are much more civilised, Someone annoys you on Facebook? Block them. Someone makes comments you disagree with on your blog? Delete their bletherings! Free speech? Oh yea? Like anyone on forums cares what other people want to say anyway!

Torchwood - Children of Earth

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:26:10 GMT

Spoiler free...

Watching it was like going to hell and back. I think if any parent saw tonight's episode and didn't have tears coming, then they must have been watching something else. I thought I was going to have to turn it off at one point, it disturbed me that much.

If anyone who hasn't seen it doubts that sci-fi can be gripping and can say important things then they should get the DVD and watch it. This was deeply political, and said a lot about our prejudices and about human nature. A situation such as that would mean doom for humanity whatever choice was made, but the choice you took would pinpoint whether you were decent and moral or not. I don't think you could make such a point outside the genre of sci-fi, actually, but with a desperate situation to set us as humans against, it becomes all too clear.

It was also real 'event TV'. My dad often talks about Quatermass and how people couldn't wait for the next episode, and this must have been something like that. It reminded me of the old Doctor Who of the seventies, how they would have a story spread over three or four episodes instead of the standard 13 episode modern series - it's much more effective. I'm not sure if it was the gripping and terrifying story itself, but I felt even more involved in what was happening.

Meanwhile I'm deeply, deeply jealous of the writing talent that produced episode four.

A Trip To Towton - With Pics!

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:39:31 GMT

OK, time for those pics. As you can see I'm becoming a bit of a Wars of the Roses nerd...

Dacre Cross, this is all you see by the roadside:

The main area of battle, this is around where the Lancastrian right hand would have lined up:

As battle progressed, the lines tipped so the Lancastrians eventually had to run down here in the rout, in snow, in armour:

View across Bloody Meadow and the River Cock, which was a trickle in June 2009, but down the road towards Saxton village we saw a road sign warning of floods near the Cocked Billet pub

The only other thing hinting at what happened here, in direct contrast to Bosworth with its visitor centre!

Good place to chase all sorts of beautiful butterflies too:

A Trip To Towton

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:36:55 GMT

I hate motorway driving and I've developed a huge interest in the Wars of the Roses from looking at some of Dave's books, so it was perfect excuse to break up the journey to and from Whitby this year with a look at some of the sites associated with the wars. On the journey to Whitby we saw the chapel on Wakefield Bridge where Edmund Duke of Rutland was slaughtered (the only other chapel on a bridge as far as I know is in nearby Rotherham), and passed by the ruins of Kirk Sandall. We would have gone to Sheriff Hutton if it wasn't raining so hard!

However I missed the road to Towton battlefield owing to bad road signs and ended up on the M1! Instead, we looked for it on the return trip, turning off the A64 to go through Tadcaster (a nice town) and it was easy to find from there, just past the village of Towton itself. It was a lovely afternoon, hazy and hot, just before last week's incredibly hot weather. There's absolutely nothing to see at first apart from a stone cross and a holly bush by a little layby. We met an elderly couple who told us to walk down a farm track where we'd find a sign about the battle, and bemoaned how so few people know about the bloodiest battle ever fought on British soil (more died than on the first day of the Somme).

It's a very odd spot, quiet apart from passing traffic and skylarks, and quite high up. On one side of the road is the spread of the battlefield, a big cornfield, and the other side, down the track, leads down to the slope where the Lancastrians fled in the rout, now just fields growing peas and potatoes. The view over the Bloody Meadow and the River Cock is beautiful, sheep and a poppy field in the distance. It's eerie to think that down there, bodies were piled so high they formed a bridge of corpses.

It's well worth the trip if you are interested in the Wars of the Roses. There's no visitor centre or anything like that, just an information board and the husks of dead wreaths around the cross, but it's very atmospheric and unspoilt. The only thing which probably wasn't there in the 15th century is the B road and a few fences. And the peas! When we'd got back to the car, another visitor turned up for a look, and he started chatting too; clearly visitors to battlefields are a friendly bunch!

I've got some pics that I'll post when I'm on a different browser.

Robin Hood

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:16:31 GMT

Note - spoilers!!!

Don't scroll down if you've not seen it and don't want to know what happens!

Everyone knows I was a huge fan of the BBC show. I took it for what it was, a Saturday teatime romp based on a legend, and legends are always ripe for re-telling, so I had no qualms that it wasn't 'accurate', after all, which adaptation was accurate? There's no answer to that! However Series 3 was a completely different kettle of fish to the first two, so it's an absolute shame it's now been cancelled! And why it got lower viewing figures despite being so much better, I don't know.

Still, in another way, I'm actually glad they ended it there. Most of the best characters were killed off! Marian, Djaq and Will had already gone, but we also lost the Sherrif, Gisbourne, Allan, Isabella and of course Robin himself. There wasn't really a lot of point carrying on after that. However, it was a satisfying ending. Much in the same way that the fates of Gollum and Frodo are inevitable at the end of Lord of the Rings, Robin died so the legend could carry on, Gisbourne died so he could be redeemed (very Boromir), and Nottingham got blasted to bits so that the people could start anew.

I never understood the snootiness about the show. There's not the same with re-tellings and revamps of other stories, such as Merlin or even Doctor Who. Such things can be told any number of ways and this went back to the roots of a real Boys' Own adventure. Plus it had fantastic actors (and very easy on the eye actors, I've got to confess to that!) who will go on to much more - that's a bit like Robin of Sherwood which included Clive Mantel and Ray Winstone in the cast - and who did wonders with the scripts. And the final series was as twisty and turny as you could hope for, packed with nasty sword fights, angst and great characters.

I'm going to get the rest of the DVDs because I'll definitely watch it again!

Shameful Stop Out

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 11:36:52 GMT

Last updated four weeks ago. How shameful of me :(

I was mucking out my e-mails though and had a nudge from Mr Wellinghall so I was prompted to post to remind you I am still here! I have been busy though and went on holiday so switched onto Facebook for the duration and carried on with it.

However...I have a load of things I must write about, including the awesome Trip To Towton, so stand by!

Here Cometh the Patronising Classes

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:23:32 GMT

I was saying to Dave earlier, in a jokey way, "How long will it be before one of the papers runs a story about Barnsley, hotbed of fascism." He cut that joke down swiftly because it's taken less than 24 hours. Hats off to the Islington luvvies at the Guardian!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/jun/08/bnp-bradford-barnsley

And what's this hot on their heels. The Times!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/elections/article6458595.ece

Seems the local hotels in Barnsley will be picking up some business over the next few weeks as the journos travel to this sinister place hoping to find people with three heads and swastikas tattoed on each and every one of them. But the precious little flowers need not fear leaving the safety of nice, friendly, coffee-coloured Islington, because if they come to Barnsley all they will find are some of the friendliest people you could hope to meet, much friendlier than in any neighbouring town or city. They are frank people, and will call a spade a spade and they have a dark sense of humour as witnessed by this comment quoted in the Guardian today:

"Ask me, I voted for them," shouted Amber, a student running across Barnsley's precinct to give her views, although not her surname. "My mam and I both did, because if you want a job here, you need to colour yourself in and have a funny name, and that's not right."

Journalists shouldn't wilt at that comment, it's called Yorkshire humour. A kind of humour forged in a town that's always last to benefit from any national wealth and always first to get kicked when recession hits. I'm sure more lines like that will come out from people who will be portrayed as variously: thick, chavvy, sinister, uncouth etc. It will be a feast of horrors for the journalists to shock the metropolitan types with as they cosy up with the Sundays round the scrubbed pine table over 'brunch' and provide them with a few things to prompt a Hate Week where they can shout "Christ Jonty, these people are animals!"

Another Incident Near Us!

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 11:33:07 GMT

Dave rang this morning on his walk to work, he passed the bottom of the hill and the main road was sealed off. He said there was a tent in the road and loads of men in identical black suits so it looked like the Men In Black were investigating something sinister.

Except it seems two policemen were injured while trying to nick someone outside Halfords in the early hours:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/south_yorkshire/8089048.stm

Boris The Hobbit

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 22:49:40 GMT

I was googlewhacking and I found this nugget:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2008/aug/24/boris.davidcameron

"Boris Johnson insisted yesterday that he was more likely to be 'reincarnated as a hobbit' than to serve in Downing Street, as he tried to quell a growing row over his suspected ambitions to lead the Conservative party."

Imagine Boris Johnson as a Hobbit. Heh.

Something Horrible on TV

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:49:27 GMT

I'm watching a programme on Channel 4 and I seriously feel like reaching into the TV and wringing the necks of some vile people. If you like animals, beware of watching My Monkey Baby which is about Americans who have monkeys and treat them like children. As you can imagine, it's packed full of the most disturbing sorts of people you can think of.

However the worst was this 'alternative' couple who have bought a 2 week old baby monkey from a breeder who kept her breeding pairs in vile cages. I want to throttle them, it's so utterly cruel. They even took the baby monkey to see the mother it was taken from, who understandably went bonkers and tried to attack them. The baby should be with its mother until at least one year old. Then they took this shivering, terrified little creature back to a house with a Mastiff they name "Evil".

It's one thing caring for an orphaned monkey in the right way, quite the opposite indulging in animal cruelty just because you want to be 'different'. Sick, horrible people.

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:41:23 GMT

I can honestly say that the story of the parents who jumped to their deaths off Beachy Head, with the body of their son who had just died from meningitis, is about the saddest thing I've read in years and years. I can't think about it for more than a minute or two without it bringing tears to my eyes. I think what really finishes me off is that not only did they take their son with them, but they also took his toys.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1190061/Beachy-Head-suicide-First-picture-Sam-Puttick-5-meningitis-death-sparked-familys-fatal-jump.html

Hmmmmm.......

New Doctor Who Companion

Fri, 29 May 2009 16:47:08 GMT

Here she is:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/may/29/doctor-who-karen-gillan

I was hoping it would be Bernard Cribbins :( Though of course he will be in the 'specials' later this year.

Hot and Bothered

Fri, 29 May 2009 16:16:48 GMT

Bloody hell, it's baking hot here today!!! I hate hot weather. Sorry about that, but it must be the Viking blood or something, or maybe it's due to growing up near the coast and not being able to cope with Sheffield's stifling inland heat.

I have been signed off by the consultant today anyway. He says the scars may never disappear, you just cannot tell, but I MUST keep my foot elevated properly when I rest or this could affect me again. This is going to be a long, frustrating struggle with the health and safety idiots at work, I can see, who insist I cannot fit a high enough footstool under my desk when I actually sit at the thing and know I can! I will probably go and buy myself a stool and bypass the whole shebang.

I also went to get the next size of car seat, but the one I'd chosen, a Britax reduced in price did not fit in my dad's Volvo, and it's important it will fit both my car and his. The next one in the range did fit though, so we've ordered one and it may or may not arrive next week, and may or may not fit my own car - if it doesn't it must be returned within 24 hours. Great. I can see hassles stacking up... Anyway, if it fits then I can use the car again because he can now walk and doesn't need lifting to the car. I ran the old chariot round the block and the handbrake has gone really bloody stiff from not being used - I hope that isn't yet another hassle to add to the list.

Those seats are so expensive it's unreal - £110. I wonder how many people without much cash make do with a crap one or the wrong one altogether?

Anyway, one more hassle is that even after the building work to repair the back elevation of the house, and my house being a total tip for months, there is more horrible white, fluffy mould on the wall of the little bedroom so I hope replastering sorts that? Anyone had a mould problem? Will that work finally???? Then the lad can have his room back and we can sort out the junk in the house!!!

Still, I have got the world's nicest crop of Foxgloves in the front garden, really tall ones, with multiple stems on them, with white flowerheads and full of bees. I like Foxgloves, they're not only free and self-seed so mean no effort, but the bees love them and I love watching bees!

And we all know what tomorrow brings.........Oh yes...............The Mighty Everton in the FA Cup Final!!!!

Butt Hole Road Hits A Bum Note

Wed, 27 May 2009 21:46:25 GMT

It's a sad day. Residents of the splendidly named Butt Hole Road in Conisbrough have clubbed together to rename their street Archers Way.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1187773/Residents-Butt-Hole-Road-club-change-streets-unfortunate-name.html

It Was The Pie Magic

Mon, 25 May 2009 21:49:42 GMT

I'm convinced that Burnley beat the Blades in the Championship play-off final today because of the magical power of words. They had a name of power on their shirts - Hollands Pies. One of the foods of the Gods.

On the other hand it could be that they were actually good, and the Blades were frankly crap in comparison. The geezer who scored streaked down that pitch like he was playing for Brazil, he was that good.

Roll on Saturday and the FA Cup Final. Oh yes.

And some more pics. We went to town all together today for a change!

Sloth

Sun, 24 May 2009 22:50:34 GMT

It's 1973, it's nearly lunchtime and I'm having hoops!

I've started watching Life On Mars again from the start, and I'd forgotten that classic Gene Hunt line! There's very little to watch this weekend, and I don't know if it's me, but there has been a dearth of decent films on either DVD or Sky Movies lately, so we're delving into the old box sets of TV series. We've re-watched all of The Tudors too.

Aside from that, it's been the warmest day of the year so far and I got up late so Dave went out on his own with the tinker, and I've somehow spent most of the day with my nose in a book instead of gardening or anything outdoors!

Ireland's Shame

Thu, 21 May 2009 17:17:29 GMT

You know, I wanted to write something about the revelations of what has gone on in Ireland's children's homes, but I'm still in a state of generalised anger about it all so I shan't go further right now than to sit here and fume. After the Magdalen Laundries and the dozens of monstrous priests the child abuse in the Industrial Schools is just the final straw, the Government there should pull itself together and sort something out and stop fudging these issues. Who cares if the church is offended?

Toy-tastic!

Wed, 20 May 2009 15:35:30 GMT

Well I found out today, only 19 months in, that you are allowed to take a pram in a Hackney cab! That could have saved me many a stressful bus journey home if I'd known that before!

We popped into town today - my leg has no strength at all in it which is a horrible sensation because normally I'm always walking everywhere. It would have been worse I suspect but I had this pair of thick black M&S support tights on - blimey, getting them on was like having another job, they grip like iron, yet are very comfortable once you have contorted yourself into them! Weird...

I got the little fella one of those ELC Happyland sets, a car, caravan and tent with a little camping stove that makes noises and three little people. It's really good, so I might get him more from the range which seems to centre on 'village life'. They even have a church and a vicar! I liked the set of six 'world people' too, which included a little Frenchman in a stripey shirt and beret, clutching a baguette, heh.

I think I'll have to get him the retro style flying saucer with aliens toy too, seeing as he already has the space rocket and moon base and he plays with them constantly. This is a cool toy I won't be embarrassed to have sitting on my living room floor:
http://www.elc.co.uk/toy/ft-cosmic-flying-saucer/

He's watching The Clangers right now - he has got an Oliver Postgate DVD set so he can develop some good taste, heh.

1066 - The Battle for Middle Earth

Mon, 18 May 2009 22:01:12 GMT

Did you see it? If not then make sure you do, part 2 is on tomorrow. It was excellent, I can't find any fault with it apart from it being on Channel 4 so the ads were irritating! Packed full of references to the languages and literature, yet not one bit like it was trying to 'educate' (even though it would), and very, very bloody.

That was well worth delaying seeing Ashes to Ashes for this week, I can catch up with that on iPlayer anyway!